mum's advice.

It has been a long and tiring day. To make it worse, mama's long lost dusty advice popped in my mind.

Syaz, you're young. why the fuss about boyfriends?

Thinking bout her advice now brings tears to my eyes. How her advice is kicking me to the curb right now. erghh! I hate when I start questioning myself and of course this was triggered by an emotional event the night before.

I'm sick of being considerate. Why can't I be selfish? Why can't I just think about myself? Why can't a guy in a Range Rover wants me as his wife?

This memory lane suck. The dark, twisted, hurricane side of me. I hate it. Where the fuck did those colourful butterflies and sunny rainbows when? Come back. How shamelessly I can demand something so unreal. It's probably from all those twilight series books I've been reading.
And those sappy movies I've been watching too much.

Stupid motherfucking love seeds sneakily planted in me! I blame Disney Princesses.. Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty..

stupidity.

I miss him terribly.

I wanna make things right.

Last Day on the Job.

On the 16th December 2009 was my last day on the job. After 23 days of work, sad to say my time is up.


It's true how time flies by when you're having fun and I did have fun working here. There may a few slow days and some days I don't even have time to have lunch but that's the fun facts of having a 9 to 5 job. (more like 8 to 6 tho).

The stress, the fatigue I've been going through has been all worth it. I won't be able to pick out a better set of people to work with and to work for and even had a small taste of work politics.

Moreover, the driving to and from work has been a good experience, tought me how to drive better and be more independent. (being a princess and all) One of the few, precious experience working here was my first trip to High Court, KL.

First, it was my lack of knowledge on the location of the place. Then, the need for the right directions. I am a person who does not like driving felt like she was thrown to the sharks on her first day on the job!
The fear of arriving late and getting lost was on my mind the whole time I was driving. But lucky enough, with the help of a Chambering Student from work (thank god!) and a little bit of faith, I arrived 60 minutes before the second half of the trial begin on that day. I even skipped lunch. That's how nervous I was.

Enough bout my lack of driving skills.

To show my maturity side, now I understand how it feels to be my dad and workaholic aunties and uncles. Coming home to a hectic home, screaming siblings. shish! I could have sold off my own brother for some peace and quiet.

Trips to the gym was awesome too. An hour or two of cardio everyday made a lot of difference to my psychological being. I don't THINK I'm fat as much as I used to. it's like killing two birds with one stone. Go gym, no traffic.. awesome kan? OWH OWH OWH.! I learn how to manage my time.

WORK, FAMILY, FRIENDS, BOYFRIENDS.!

This is my boss. His name is Mr. TommyThomas, (check out the sign behind us)
He drives a Jaguar too. XF.

50 dumb blonde quotes.

1) Paris Hilton talking to press about the US chain store: "Wal-Mart... do they like make walls there?

2) Jessica Simpson on NewleyWeds: "Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says 'Chicken by the Sea.' "

3) Alicia Silverstone on her role in Clueless: "I think that the film was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness.
4) Chantelle Houghton when Big Brother said she had changed since becoming a celebrity: "I've changed? What do you mean... I've changed my clothes?"

5) Jodie Marsh in a recent interview: "Eskimos are uncivilised because they don't have any shops.

6) Paris Hilton on her technique on the red carpet: "I don't really think, I just walk."

7) Jessica Simpson on her first day at high school: "A teacher asked us if anybody knew the names of the continents. I was sooo excited. I was like, Damn it! It's my first day of 7th grade, I'm in junior high and I know this answer. So I raised my hand, I was the first one, and I said A-E-I-O-U!"

8) Goldie Hawn on her favourite types of films: "Comedy is funny".

9) Sam Fox on fitness clothes: "I've got 10 pairs of training shoes - one for every day of the week

10) Britney Spears on her taste in clothes: "So many people have asked me how I could possibly be a role model and dress like a tramp and get implants... all I have to say is that self-esteem is how you look at yourself and I feel good enough about myself so wear that kind of clothing... the breast implant issue has nothing to do with that..."

11) BB's Helen Adam's on education: "The worst thing is when the press call me a dizzy blonde - I got a B in Drama, a D in English, I did a hairdressing course and a beauty certificate."

12) Lady Victoria Hervey on the homeless: "It's so bad being homeless in winter. They should go somewhere warm like the Caribbean where they can eat fresh fish all day."

13) Britney Spears on Japan: "I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa."

14) Jessica Simpson when offered buffalo wings: "Sorry I don't eat buffalo."

15) Paris Hilton on her fame: "There's nobody in the world like me. I think every decade has an iconic blonde, like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana and, right now, I'm that icon."

16) Chantelle Houghton on George Galloway: "He looks at us like we're stupid, scatty, uneducated girls. He's a right chauvinistic pig, whatever that means!"

17) Cameron Diaz on science: "I've been noticing gravity since I was very young."

18) Britney Spears on where she might start her theatre career: "I would rather start out somewhere small, like London or England."

19) BB's Helen Adams on magic man Paul Daniels: "Yeah, you know Jack Daniels... he does all the magic stuff!

20) Christina Alguilera on film festivals: "So where's the Cannes film festival being held this year?"

21) Paris Hilton on her career choices: "First wanted to be a veterinarian. And then I realised you had to give them shots to put them to sleep, so I decided I'd just buy a bunch of animals and have them in my house instead.

22) Alicia Douvall on motherhood: "I think a 16-year-old with a nice, sexy figure will do really well as a model as long as she's managed well. That's why I'm happy for Georgia to have a boob job because it will give her a career."

23) Chantelle Houghton on hearing George Galloway was an MP: "Does that mean you work in that big room with the green seats?

24) Britney on capital punishment: "I am for the death penalty. Who commits terrible acts must get a fitting punishment. That way he learns the lesson for the next time."

25) BB2's Helen Adams on pulses: "How much chicken is there in chick peas?"

26) Chanelle Hayes on her Posh spice obsession: "I like what she (Victoria Beckham) wears. That's what magazines are all about - there's always a picture of a celebrity and where to buy a replica of what they're wearing. It's not as if I'm doing anything weird."

27) Paris Hilton on her title: "I don't want to be known as the Hilton heiress, because I didn't do anything for that."

28) Tara Reid on her fellow blonde celeb: "I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist."

29) Ivana Trump on literature: "Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything.
30) Christina Aguilera on herself: "I'm an ocean, because I'm really deep. If you search deep enough you can find rare exotic treasures."

31) Britney Spears on her first tour: "Where the hell is Australia anyway?"

32) Alicia Douvall on surgery: "I know it (plastic surgeries) will kill me. But I'd rather die trying to sort things out."

33) Jodie Marsh on cooking: "Is an egg a vegetable?"

34) Kimberly Stewart on Jennifer Aniston: "I like her cos she's like, homely. She must have something else going on cos it's not like she's gorgeous or anything."

35) Jessica Simpson on her mood at the VH1 '05 video awards: "Isn't it weird I'm getting all emotionable."
36) Helen Adams on BB2 : "I probably sound Welsh on the telly."

37) Mariah Carey on the death of the King of Jordan: "I loved Jordan. He was one of the greatest athletes of our time."

38) Chantelle Houghton on different types of doctors: "What's a gynaecologist?"

39) Pamela Anderson on her secret to success: "I don't think about anything too
much . . . If I think too much, it kind of freaks me out!"

40) Ivana Trump on getting one over on her ex's new girlfriend: "Gorgeous hair is the best revenge."

41) Brooke Shields on her campaign against smoking: "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

42) Heather Locklear on being proud of her heritage: "From an early age I was aware of what America meant, and how the Marines at Camp Pendleton were ready to defend us at a moment's notice. I also remember what fabulous bodies those troops had."

43) Jessica Simpson on her scantily clad videos: "I'm definitely shy, so it was definitely acting for me to drop a trench coat and be in a bikini and try to get my cousins out of trouble by using my body. That was definitely acting!"

44) Chantelle Houghton working out the shopping budget: "Eleventy-twelve pence? I don't get it. How much is that then?"

45) Britney on why she did a cover of I Love Rock and Roll: "I always loved Pat Benatar.

46) Emma Bunton on moobs: "I wish men had boobs because I like the feel of them. It's so funny - when I record I sing with a hand over each of them, maybe it's a
comfort thing."

47) Cyndi Crawford on modelling: "In the studio, I do try to have a thought in my head, so that it's not like a blank stare."

48) The late Anna Nicole Smith on suicide bombers: "Doesn't that hurt?"

49) Jessica Simpson to the President when visiting the White House: "I love what you've done with the place!"

50) Mischa Barton on being blessed with looks: "Pretty people aren't as accepted as other people. It comes with all these stigmas."

City of Angels

The thought about writing this movie has been nagging in my mind for so long, I can't hold it in much longer.
every single time i watch this movie, confirm nangis.

City of Angels, a movie placed in Los Angeles where angels in black trench coats walk around the city. An angel, Seth Plates (the hot Nicholas Cage) fell in love with a no nonsense, very serious surgeon Maggie Rice (Meg Ryan).

Describing Seth:
Messenger, an ex-angel explains to Maggie (Ryan) about Seth.
"Seth knows no fear,no pain, no hunger.
He hears music in the sunrise.
But he'd give it all up. He loves you that much."

This movie is a classic. A movie where love conquers all.
I still do believe these sappy kind of stories exist in real life (minus the angel). I can't help it, how could u not fall in love with something so real and magical at the same time?

I downloaded the scripts of the movie. the movie is form by simple, straightforward conversations with full emotions. tell me who can direct this sort of thing? Only a genius can.
the simplicity of the actors, Meg Ryan without make up (or probably minimum) through out the whole movie shows how our genius here wants to portray the most honest love story a person can watch and even Cage with only and only black clothes almost through out the movie shows the director's ability to project a solemn, dark character in a beautiful angel.

the raw energy and pure love in this movie is amazing. I mean hands down, I've never seen a better love story in Hollywood after city of angels.

The thing is, these beautiful angels are so curious about human beings and their abilities. the ability to touch, to taste, to lie. it's all being discussed in the movie. their curiosity pricks on mine, why would u question all that when you're an angel.


"If you'd known this
was going to happen...
...would you have done it?


I would rather have had...

...one breath of her hair...

...one kiss of her mouth...

...one touch of her hand...

...than an eternity without it.

One."

december.

First blog of the month. I have been restraining myself from writing any more blogs for November, dont wanna appear any more lame as I already am. :D

Two days ago on 30th November, 12 of us BJRIANS gathered at 1130pm to celebrate my best friend's birthday in front of her house. Intan Maryam born on the 1st December 1990.

She is officially now 19 years old. YAY! *big round of applause*

but most importantly, I had fun! we all did actually. thank u for those who made it. :)

rite now I'm at the office, it's 618pm and I am officially stuck here. I can't go to gym. First reason, I didn't bring any gym clothes.

WHY U MAY ASK?

it seems I've been receiving comments on how I've been pushing myself too much at gym so I need a break. Not missing much anyway, it's Wednesday. cardio classes are BORING.

right now, the purpose of writing this blog is just to let off steam. three days straight at court listening to court submission which I find it very interesting and almost hilarious.
how lawyers can snicker at each other and so forth.

I'll get back on court life later. ----------------------------------------------------------------> now's just ranting moment.

I rase sangat shallow cuz all I can think of is to write bout my feelings. me this, me that.

macam spoiled brat. :)

excusing myself today, this is mainly to rant out and berceloteh macam takde kerja.

rite now I'm looking at a picture of the ppl I grew up with. literally have been with me since I 12 tahun sampai lah sekarang.

I may not admit to them but I do love those lot. I may go around knowing a clique of friends from here and there but without a doubt, this bunch of ppl I know since muda are the ones gonna be around when I get married later on.

I always imagine myself on my wedding day with 3 tables of those crazy bunch of ppl screaming down the house telling my husband to-be what a mistake he's doing by marrying me. bodoh, I know but mark my words. it will happen!!

these ppl are the ones I can always rely on, without a doubt in my mind I know they'll be there for good or bad and I'd never have to worry about losing em. it seems they're addicted to me or something.LOL.

I may be one of the luckier human beings on earth to be able to have great awesome friends. I mean come on, let's be realistic. do u know how many cunning lil' backstabbing bitches out there? they'd do anything to bring u down for the smallest of reasons. sungguh cacat dunia ni..